When I went to kindergarten, I was the largest kid in my class. I was teased on the playground. "Fatty, fatty two- by- four. Can’t get through the bathroom door." I was a chubby kid and a fat preteen.

As I went through school, I remained the largest person in my class. I was the overweight one of the group, the one that never had a date. Where boys were concerned, I was always a friend but nobody’s sweetheart. I could be counted on to pass along messages between the popular girls and boys. But come party time I was the one that never was invited. I always felt left out.

I could never fit into the popular fashions; in fact Mom had to alter larger sizes to fit me. When the fashion industry started selling “chubby” sizes I still felt out of place as they were never pretty like the other girls. I secretly cried before attending my first junior high school dance. Mother was so pleased at the gown she had bought at the resale shop and paid to have altered. I know I must have broken her heart as I found it difficult to muster up any enthusiasm at this gown that looked so different than the other girls’ gowns and I came home early as it was no fun sitting alone in a corner.

In high school I still battled the weight. In spite of trying to play softball and tennis to be active, the weight would not come off. I’ll never forget overhearing my father say, "She has such a pretty face, if only she could lose 20 or 30 pounds." I was crushed and to this day feel the pain of hearing those words.

I never lost those 20 or 30 pounds, and with my low self esteem I would do anything for friendship and even more for a relationship with a boy. I saw my entire little girl dreams passing me by - finding a nice man, having a big wedding, and a family of my own. The one thing I wanted more than anything was to feel loved for who I was. At seventeen my world came crashing down. I became pregnant, was forced into a marriage and could not graduate with my class. Times were different then.

After the birth of my child I struggled to lose the 50 pounds I'd gained. Stress of a failing marriage did not help and I continued to gain. I have been constantly challenged by my emotions. I have failed at numerous diets. I have sensed disapproval from my family and sneers from strangers on the street.

I remarried in 1963 and gained more weight with the birth of our daughter. For 40 years I tried different diets and weight loss programs, losing any where from 50 to 150 pounds, but always putting back what I had lost, and then some. Once I resolved that I had to get my weight under control and entered a weight loss program. I successfully lost about 80 pounds, but then became discouraged when the leader for some unknown reason stated that I would never achieve my goal.

During the summer of 2002, I knew I had to do something. The pain was too intense in my knees, hip and back. My orthopedic surgeon said he would not do a hip replacement until I lost 100 pounds. At that time I weighed 440 pounds on a 5’5" frame. I wondered about surgery but my brother had stomach stapling in 1978 but defeated it. I was scared to have the surgery as I had constantly been told I was a surgery risk. Also seeing how he defeated the surgery I felt I too, might fail.

After being hospitalized with congestive heart failure, my pulmonary doctor suggested I see Dr. Kenneth Warnock about RNY surgery. I researched the procedure and finally made the appointment in June 2002.

Dr. Warnock was very straight forward concerning the risks and the commitment I must make. My husband and I attended several support group meetings. The support group meetings were very informative and I wiped tears from my eyes as I listened to the testimonies. I could relate all too well. I saw others my size and pictures of some that had been my size. I was becoming convinced that this might be for me. After 15 years in a wheel chair, the intense pain and only being able to walk 30 or 35 feet without being breathless; I was ready. I had high blood pressure, diabetes and severe arthritis. My health was failing fast and I knew I had to make some life altering changes.

At my consultation, Dr. Warnock instructed me come back after I had lost 65 pounds. He predicted I would be completely bedridden in 5 to 10 years.

I was angry and frustrated for 5 months. Lose weight to have weight loss surgery???  How dare he ask that!!  But finally I started working at losing the 65 pounds so I could have the surgery. I finally met Dr. Warnock's mandate and he set the date. I was scared but it was something I really wanted to do. Something I had to do!

I had the surgery on 3 February 2003 and life has not been the same. I no longer am in a wheel chair or walker. Where once I could only walk 30 to 35 feet without becoming breathless, I now land walk 20 to 30 minutes a day and water walk 30 to 45 minutes 4 times a week. I no longer take 11 medications daily, nor use a Bi-Pap machine.

On December 8, 2003 after losing 200 pounds I had a hip replacement. It is so great to be pain free. I go out to shop; no longer do I have to shop in specialty catalogs since I have gone from a Plus Size 6X to XL.

It's wonderful to go shopping and to be able to buy clothes that are in style and in the "regular size" section instead of having to go to the plus sizes and out-of-style clothes. And just to have the energy to go shopping is great!!

Life is good and getting better because each day I have new experiences long forgotten from the past. Sometimes it is very overwhelming!! This past November we took a trip for the first time in over 15 years. We drove to Chicago, IL and then on to Green Bay, WI and then stopped at my brother’s in Kansas on the way back to Texas. He was so proud of me and asked if he could take me to town and show me off!! He took me to a dress shop and told everyone about my weight loss surgery and even bought me several new outfits! He had to tell everyone he saw on the street!

I no longer fear those embarrassing moments:

Once I went in for an annual checkup and the doctor said to the nurse, "She is just too obese, I can’t tell a thing!" and walked out of the room. Recently at my annual checkup, I could be weighed on the office scales, did not require the nurse to track down the large BP cuff, could wear the provided gown and was not documented as morbidly or super obese.

No longer am I a prisoner in my body. I can fly without humiliation. Once on a flight the gentleman next to me asked the stewardess if he could move. Now I can fit into any seat belt, any chair, any car, any booth, or any bathroom stall. I can fit into society.

I have noticed that when I meet a stranger in passing they speak and smile at me. They don’t stare!

I am able to do my household chores without a wheelchair or walker. I am learning to drive once again and look forward to going shopping without help.

I am not where I wish to be just yet, but I am free! I am free from shame, guilt, ridicule, embarrassment and worry. I am free to move without pain and struggle. I am free to dream without limitations.

To those that might be considering weight loss surgery I would say to you that it is a life changing experience. The surgery is just a “tool” and for you to be successful you must make a life long commitment to strict disciplines. That includes the recommended protein supplements, bariatric vitamins, exercise, water intake and support group meetings. You should seek out an outstanding surgeon that cares about your future and offers a follow up program with knowledgeable support team members.

I am so grateful that I had the surgery and have been successful at losing 230 pounds. My only regret is that 35 years ago I did not have this program available to me. I missed out on so many years of my children and grandchildren’s lives. Countless fun times with family and friends.

Those years are gone, but now I can live. I have been given a second chance. Before surgery my life revolved around food - I lived to eat. Today my life is about living and laughing - enjoying life to the fullest. Life is good to me! My quality of life has greatly improved! I am at the weight I was 41 years ago.

I have been married to a wonderful man since 1963. We have been transferring our photo albums to DVD and recently he commented, "I never thought of you as being that big." I know he has always loved me even when I was size 30/32 . He is older than me and recently I realized his mortality when he was diagnosed with bilateral kidney cancer. I am so glad that I had the surgery and now if necessary, I’ll be able to care for him.

I know I am an emotional eater. I am still addicted to food and I don’t always have the ability to control the addiction. It scares me when I see how easy it is to get off-track. Things like eating the wrong foods, sneaking food, obsessing about food, eating to repress feelings. It’s scary. But it’s one day at a time and I hope to never eat like I did before. To stay aware of my weakness I find it helps me to help others on their journey.

I thank Dr. Warnock, my local support group, the on-line support groups and my husband for being there for me through this journey.

Virginia Key
Wichita Falls, Texas
vskey@wf.net

Before	After